South Bend Student Stakes His Claim on the Good Life with INESA Support

Isolated: Little Boy Lost

Sarah Seachris vividly recalls the breaking point in her son Evan’s education. “I would drop him off at school, and then in 10 minutes they would call me to come get him because he had thrown a desk or hit a teacher.”

This was not an isolated incident but a recurring nightmare. Evan’s challenges extended beyond the classroom, impacting the entire family. Diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), ADHD combined type, and intermittent explosive disorder, his anxiety manifested as aggression, violent behavior, and property destruction.

“It’s horrible,” Sarah confesses. “It’s the most stressful thing, and also a fear as a mother. I don’t want to be the mother of a child who hurts other people.”

The constant stress and unpredictability led to social isolation and a deep sense of loneliness. “We just kind of isolate,” she says, “We don’t want to go anywhere because I don’t know what he’s going to do.”

The traditional approaches offered – ABA therapy, counseling, and medication – didn’t help, and the medication had negative side effects. Despite Sarah’s best efforts, Evan’s complex needs were unmet.

Common Burdens: Lack of Progress and Low Self-Worth

Many people don’t realize the burdens shared by families with special needs kids. When a child’s progress is stalled or behaviors seem impossible to manage, feelings of low self-worth often follow. Sarah recalls that after a bad episode, Evan just lay on the chair and hit his head against it repeatedly. “He was so upset, but he didn’t know what to do about it,” she says. “He doesn’t have good self-esteem because he knows he shouldn’t be doing that. He wants to fix it, but he can’t.”

Sarah is often uncomfortable trying to explain Evan’s challenges because people may think she is just making excuses for him. He gets overwhelmed in big places and when he feels pressure to perform. He lacks impulse control and executive functioning skills.

“The pattern,” she says, “is anywhere we go, they end up asking him to leave, and in some cases not come back. It’s really hard to hear. He’s had some self-injurious behavior and negative talk about himself, because he knows he’s not typical and it’s hard for him. It’s frustrating for everybody involved.”

“He is bright! He’s smarter than he’ll let on, but he doesn’t want to make a mistake, doesn’t want to fail,” Sarah discloses. “We just have to figure out the behaviors and the right environment for him to learn and progress.”

A Lifeline: Empowering Evan with the ESA

Discovering Indiana’s Education Scholarship Account (ESA) through their case manager, Kelly Limberg, offered a glimmer of hope. Finally, there was an option that allowed Sarah to customize Evan’s learning environment to his unique requirements.

It’s taken some trial and error to find the right mix of services. Initially, Sarah used the ESA to fund tutoring with a trusted individual who had been working with Evan.

They’ve been through several ABA centers before settling on Golden Steps ABA. They have been able to keep Evan throughout the school day and have been able to handle his behaviors. Sarah is preparing to re-introduce tutoring through Next Steps Learning now that Evan has settled in and is progressing at Golden Steps. They also discovered “A Place to Be Me” which offers programs and camps that promise to be a good fit for Evan.

The best find was Hong’s USA Taekwondo in Niles, MI. When Evan has become aggressive or violent, Grandmaster Hong and his staff know how to de-escalate a situation. They can also handle Evan’s physical aggression if needed.

“That has been incredible! They didn’t ask him to leave,” Sarah says tearfully. “They worked with him. They were very firm in letting him know what was appropriate and what was not. He went through a rough patch where he didn’t want to go, and he acted out very badly, but they worked through it with him. He’s happy to go now, and he’s focused.”

Taekwondo Triumph: “I Want to Have a Good Life”

Hong’s USA Taekwondo has provided Evan with structure, discipline, and a sense of belonging. The positive impact extends beyond behavior management. It has fostered Evan’s self-esteem and provided him with a positive outlet for his energy.

“He’s gained confidence,” notes Sarah, “and he’s learning respect – respect for others, yes, but also respect for himself.”

“Taekwondo has been wonderful for him,” she continues. “It’s something he can be proud of, that he’s good at, and he can make friends in that setting. It gives him something his brothers aren’t doing, so it’s HIS thing. The teachers respect him and care for him, when so many others have given up on him.”

They’re not out of the woods yet, though. Sarah mentions that evenings and weekends can still be difficult when Evan acts out and gets violent. It’s improved, but they have a long way to go. Still, she appreciates the opportunity to decompress and prepare while he is at Golden Steps, something she couldn’t do before. She also enjoys spending more time with her older boys and volunteering at their school.

“Having a special needs child is so hard on siblings,” she says, “and they feel it. In some ways, I feel it’s strengthened their character, but it’s hard. I cherish getting to go places with them and not worry about what Evan is going to do.”

What’s on the horizon for Evan? Golden Steps ABA hopes to help him gradually move into a school setting with one-onone support for the transition, and Hong’s USA Taekwondo will continue to play an important role.

“You know what’s really sweet?” asks Sarah. “Sometimes he will say, ‘I want to have a good life.’ And sometimes he says he wants to be a scientist. Depends on the day. Sometimes I’m hopeful. I know he has that desire to do well, and I think the ESA helps tremendously to work towards achieving his good life.”