Sharpening your skills in conflict management

Conflict management is one of the most important skills you can have as a supervisor. If you do it successfully it can lead to a happier and more fulfilled team, better work products and a strong work culture—all important parts of a successful workplace. These tips can help you sharpen those skills:

Know the basics of de-escalation

Safety comes first—if you’re worried about your safety, you should move to a safe location and get help. But in more mild situations where an employee may be upset or struggling to communicate, keeping these tips at the forefront of your mind can help prevent a situation from escalating:

• Avoid raising your voice
• Speak slowly and with purpose
• Practice active listening (angle yourself towards the speaker, remove distractions like a phone or computer, let them finish their thoughts)
• Keep your tone calm and even
• Monitor your body language to keep it relaxed and attentive
• Move with the upset individual to a different location (ideally somewhere calm)
• Accept when it’s time to get help—you may not be able to solve the problem on your own

This infographic from the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency has more tips and examples to help you with de-escalation.

Understand the source of the conflict

If your employee comes to you with a complaint like their coworker is being rude when giving feedback on a project, you may need to dig deeper to find the root of the issue. Are they upset because the coworker is acting in a managerial role rather than as a coworker? Do the employees have different communication styles that aren’t meshing? Are one or both employees not completing work on time or up to standard? Once you’ve determined the true source of the conflict, it will be easier to move forward. And if the issue is bigger than a simple disagreement, there may be more steps to take. Read our blog post on Next Steps When an Employee Reports Poor Treatment to understand more about the state’s anti-violence and anti-harassment policies.

Determine how much involvement is needed

After talking through their concerns with you, an employee may feel empowered to resolve the issue on their own, or they may need you to step in as a mediator. If you do need to get involved, set some ground rules first. Let your employees know that you expect them to treat each other with respect even when disagreeing and to do their best to listen to how others are feeling. Your level of involvement will also depend on your style of management, and it may take time to determine the style that works best for you.

If appropriate, identify possible solutions

Listen to all the parties involved to understand what their ideal solution looks like—for each of the examples above, potential solutions could include:

1. If one of your employees is acting in a managerial style to their coworker, you can have a direct conversation with both employees to clearly define their roles and responsibilities. You can offer feedback to the coworker about how their behavior is affecting the other employee and encourage them to focus on collaboration and teamwork.
2. If coworkers have different communication styles, you may suggest communication training (LinkedIn Learning is a great resource). You can also encourage open communication by clarifying intentions between employees and creating a safe space where they feel comfortable reaching out when there's a misunderstanding.

3. If work is not up to standard, it may be time to reiterate performance expectations regarding deadlines, quality and responsibilities. If an employee needs additional support meeting those standards because of a knowledge or skill gap, additional training is a good next step.

It is always important to encourage them to move past me vs. them mentalities and instead focus on concrete action. They may have a clear idea or need input from you on the best path forward. Be prepared to explain your reasoning if you settle on a solution that may not be their first choice and think through how you’ll measure success. Do you need to have a check-in meeting in the next month or simply encourage your employees to speak with you again if the issue persists? Each situation is unique.

If you’re new to managing conflicts, you may have some failures, but you’ll also start to learn the methods that work best with your team. It can help to document each situation so you can analyze what worked and what didn’t. And don’t be afraid to look to those around you with more experience or contact resources like the INSPD Employee Relations Division (855-773-4647, Option 4) and Performance Management Division (PerformanceManagement@spd.in.gov) for more support.